Offshore Africa stories

“We really appreciated your questionnaire form from last month, they are still talking about it.”

“Well the penny pinching accountants really have nowhere else to cut the budget do they after they have gambled on futures for fuel, and the never ending wage disputes with you, guys. So, I thought us passengers, should let them know what we think of their latest raid on breakfast. When do the tiny cold sandwiches or croissants or whatever they have dreamt up start ?”

“Next week, we are really not looking forward to the reaction…”

“Never mind, you guys have the best slots, the best times, the best for connections in London, so don’t worry we will all still be here, it’s just such a shame, that something good is removed for the sake of what ? How much do they really save? Would betting that looking at the corporate bonuses and share schemes would save a lot more?

“Well, that will never change, will it ?”

“No, Clair, but compliments to the chef “, he winked as she nodded her appreciation as she left for the next passenger…

As the noisy old jet headed south, he could hear some prominent politicians, and business leaders animated conversations, aye, there was always an opinion, an agenda to be pursued, he slipped on his trusty old bluetooth headphones, and filtered out all “The Noise” munched through the “eggsellent” breaky, washed it down with decent coffee and then fell into a light coma… a blessed relief from his mind’s ability to “scenario view”, the imminent 6 weeks of in all probably, pure hell…

The noise of the wheels being lowered and that characteristic final “clunk” of the wheels locking in position, and the increased wind noise, woke him from that peaceful place. “Pink Floyd” was in his ears, and Claire was silently mouthing at him, to prepare for landing, the drill, Seats Upright, Tray Tables Away, Blinds up, and annoyingly, Headphones off..

As if a tiny set of headphones could bring down a plane. It seemed ludicrous that the plane wasn’t protected against a mini volt attack from a set of bluetooth headphones.The underpants bomber had missed a trick?

Setting aside his grumpy mood induced by the permanent ludicrous state of “Security” that was insisted upon, when as a frequent traveler he constantly saw the hypocrisy of the measures being forced onto a docile traveling public. The music lifted him, as it always did, pushing the limits of the cabin staff’s patience, he reluctantly unplugged from his peaceful space.

Landing wasn’t bad, he couldn’t help but critique as he had done some piloting in the past, but joining clubs and getting hours in was not practical with his unpredictable job life. He was a qualified helicopter landing officer on the diving ships and on the offshore installations and, as a Fire Team leader, he knew more than most about the perils of flying, but it’s safer than crossing the road he always told himself… mmm best not to dwell on the travels ahead, the BA flight into LHR was not the biggest risk, that’s for sure.

The connection wasn’t long, so he didn’t have to endure LHR terminal 5 for too long. He was a people watcher and could sit perched high in the departures lounge and watch people all day, making up assumptions, conclusions and at times wildly outrageous scenarios in his head, sometimes laughing to himself at the absurdity of his imagination, oh, well, this was a slice of civilised life that he would be hungering for shortly, so don’t think of it as ending, just soak it up, the fact that stuff just works, like air conditioning and tap water, polite staff, the shops, the facilities, the clean toilets, the simple stuff, like available toilet roll, soon enough this will all be a distant memory.