Offshore Africa stories

“Ahem, yes I did…”

“God you brought “de house” down, they are still speaking about it…”

“Oh, cmon, we were all drunk, and it was late and it was Lagos, for fucks sake…”

“Yes, but that was classic, when you broke out all your “Scottish Patter” as you called it and flashed those baby brown eyes, and regaled them with stories of heroics, and laughter, and just smooched that one straight up to the room… When you came back down with his union jack jockeys, the place erupted!!!

“Aye, no one was expecting that, especially…me!

“Fuck, did we laugh, the stewardesses were crying laughing at the thought of that harry arsed neanderthal Jock, and that mincing little gay chief steward getting it on upstairs…”

“You didn’t. Did you?”

“Of course not you, Nigerian prick, we split the money and were back down in the bar in 5 minutes, it was just spur of the moment theatre… and it worked in more ways than I could possibly comment on”, he winked.

Moussa laughed out loud a deep booming bellowing laugh from the soles of his sandalled feet, tears welling up, he smacked Dave on the back, with his big hand. Dave “braced for impact” but Moussa didn’t follow through with all his weight and let Dave off lightly. Which was just as well, he was a very big guy!

“Yes you always were easy with the woman, why is that?”

“I am just a nice guy I suppose…”

“I am truly a nice guy, why don’t I get it easy?”

“Well Moussa, perhaps your 4 ex wifes, and many mistresses might have the answer to that, eh?”

Moussa laughed loudly again.

They boarded the flight, with a few knowing smiles and winks between them. They both turned left at the business class door and stepped into the BA aircraft. It was older but in pretty good shape, and business class had its perks.

Firstly the steward introduced himself and asked if they needed anything immediately on getting through the door.

“Dear chap, would it be terribly inconvenient if I was able to sit next to my esteemed friend here for the duration?”

“Of course, Mr Moussa, no problem, are you imbibing as usual?”

It was fun to watch the dance between these two guys, who obviously went way back, Dave couldn’t but wonder if any illicit dealings had been done between them as he never missed a trick. A small bag perchance negotiated the route via the aircrew baggage and picked up in a dark car park at London Heathrow… Dave wouldn’t put anything past Moussa.