Triggeredonomy Interweb

Its early morning, and I am just up, coffee in hand, sit down in my office, and open that old MacBook that has been a wonder, its has put up with my chaotic lifestyle and its just keeps going with that terrific tactile keyboard… ahhh life is so sweet, what could possible FUCK IT UP?

Let’s check the email, we all do it, we have been programmed to check it out, I mean there could be something important?
But you are met with just so much junk mail.
How does all that junk just keep coming in?
So you read down to the bottom, and you see the tiny “Unsubscribe button”
You hit unsubscribe…
But that isn’t of course “The Unsubscribe button”.
Instead it’s the “Here’s a moron who reads the mail, and goes all the way down to the bottom, and hits the
“Lets sell this guys email address to all the scammers and Phishers out there “ Button!!

As a result of this action, you are now plagued by even more emails, so you are sucked down into that interweb urinal. There is no one out there looking out for us! We are on our own, just a tiny little insignificant worm, there to be feasted on by those big internet alpha’s grazing bastards of the present world.
I mean who knew something like Faeces Book, would be the winner in this relentless drive to the bottom of humanity’s insane self absorbed bullshit about being liked and posting crap!

Who thought a simple tool like an innocuous Internet Search Engine, an internet searching algorithm would end up owning us all, and harvesting us for SO MUCH money, and wielding so much power, that simply sucks doesn’t it? Who else gets to tell Governments that they will have their services cut off, because that democratically elected body has seen that they are not getting reasonable tax revenue from that service.

Or do I not get a say in this surreal madness of life as I am so privileged?

Are you not all sick of just being harvested like this, with no choice?

Recently I was informed, I had to sign up to THE NEW SERVICE AGREEMENT for an internet service that I have used for over 30 years. By continuing to use it I was by default agreeing with their latest service agreement, you know the agreement that gets them out of shit in the courts, when someone disagrees with the way they throw their weight around. I mean they have all these pillars of society, those corporate fat fucken lawyers sitting about, who have to prove they are invaluable, and justify their corpulent salaries.

Basically they are the same as every other ALPHA Interweb predator out there, covering their asses.
You are told to sign up, or by using the services you have in all probability used for years, agree to everything they demand, and your rights are basically wiped out…
Even the FAQ “Fairly Awkward Questions” section transfers you onto a web page, which the first “pop out” demands, before you even get to see the “FAQs” that you accept their “Cookies” etc etc.
So, even in asking what you are actually signing up for, you are “Harvested” they will not let any harvesting opportunity go by, they simply cannot help themselves, can they ?

Am I the only one that thinks this is Bullshit!!

Then the true incredible vastness of the concept of bemusing you with smoke and mirrors begins!

The bloody agreement is almost 15,000 words of legal bullshit, so, who the hell, is going to read that!

They know we are unlikely to go through the complex mindfield of changing your contact details, email address etc etc , for all the services you are embroiled in, that have your passwords resets etc etc, where all that “Security” IBS requires your email address.

Yes IBS, it’s not Irritated Bowel Syndrome,

Its Internet Bullshit Syndrome

Those legal bastions of “law and order”, well for the corporate elite in any case, have coldly calculated in I imagine those countless brainstorming meetings, full of caffe lattes, and endless statistical data presentations which “ironically” use YOUR data, that they have harvested as proof, that it is so complex nowadays to change any of this online crap, you will not make the change.
It is just so difficult to shut down accounts and change all the contact details for your insurances, your banks, your interactions with the authorities, etc etc

For example, the airline cannot simply let you use the flight ticket number for your legal agreed refund, or a different email address, god forbid you try to stem the flow of junk emails by having a few email addresses.
So you have to have all manner of airline codes etc, that are not all on one email, they are spread through 3 or 4 , and god forbid you use a 3rd party app to get the ticket, like “Decent un algorithm inflated ticket price.com” You are screwed then, they will endlessly pass the back between you till you just give up.
Even when you do get it in black and white,, they conveniently say it will be 2 to three weeks, hoping you get distracted by another internet battle, and forget to check you got repaid… through your credit card of course…

Don’t start me on credit cards!!
Leaving me stranded in foreign countries, that’s another Triggeredonomy subject…

You ever realise the game is stacked against you, with the “charges and fines“ that banks and the authorities dish out, just because you honestly forget something, and the systems they have “online” just don’t work. You tried your best to pay, or change or cancel or inform, but it takes weeks to get replies to emails on genuine refunds etc, for cancelled travel during the pandemic.
The hours spent on automatic telephone call centre waiting queues, listening to that bloody tinny MUSAC ! Then they wonder why you are ever so slightly pissed off, when you eventually get a human on the line…?
They have the nerve to put these “help” customer services on the premium lines, and charge you for calling up, to fix “THEIR” broken programming , THEIR website glitches, THEIR system breakdowns, and through all this you here their MANTRA repeated over and over that it’s all for YOUR own good, its for your YOUR security, it for YOUR continued best interests… GOD people we are being royalty screwed over by these bastards, and there is nothing you can do.
You eventually get put in touch with “The Complaints Dept” after the rest of “The Customer Services Team, have done their level best to wear you out, hanging about on phone lines, that seem to get “oh so regularly” dropped when they put you through to another department, then you have to go through the song and dance of calling up and queuing all over again, with THAT MUSAC!
“Well Sir, it would appear you have an attitude problem, and let me remind you this call is recorded,”FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!!”
By this time I really do have an attitude problem…
Just recently in trying to remember an ever changing password conundrum.
These particular assholes were the “victims” of having a “HACK” into their systems, by unscrupulous fellows, and they have handed over your details, phone numbers, email addresses and passwords, log ins etc etc, through their absolute incompetence.
Having the wrong fat old managers in charge of the IT department, who get conned into buying the wrong software, or worse, are complicit and take the money, and simply dump the company in the shot.
Then the very few good guys in their IT team try to fix this “lame duck” software, that will always be limping along, badly, as its the wrong software for that service.. The software fixes plastered all through the system always gave me the mental picture of a guy face covered in bandaids, as a result of trying to shave in an aircraft bathroom in heavy turbulence with an open razor, i.e a right bloody mess.
Why have a completely out of touch old manager in charge of such a fast moving, dynamic and technically difficult department?
Just employ a hacker, make sure he is a happy camper and doesn’t go rogue on you… that would indeed be bad, maybe get one recently married and with children, that will suck the revolutionist energy out of him for sure!
But let him get the best, toughest, unhackable software for the job, he might even improve things!!
Just look at all the latest hacks etc, they are all perpetrated against underfunded national authorities IT departments, led by dinosaurs who think an algorithm is some modern dance music, and who even have trouble working the latest smart TV’s at home, never minding presiding over the company’s internet security policies.
Is it just me?
So in trying to remember not only the password, but the many and varied security questions, and then doing that CAPTCHA bullshit, that strains my eyes, and of course “Triggers” me, my trusty steed of an apple mac leads me to my “Saved “ passwords, and cheerfully informs me , that I have at present “One Hundred and Fifty !!!! Active password!!! FFS!!
One Hundred and fifty passwords, that seemingly have a one month sell by date, and you cannot use the same concept again, for the password that you might just remember…
Fuck its hopeless, thats a full time job just changing password for chrissakes…
Anyway!
That really made me think! 150 bloody passwords, something has to change?
But how can you?
You are told never to write them down… ok, so keep them in a hidden file in your laptop etc.
Code them into, other electronic gadgets you have pads, phones etc etc.
I say, just FIX YOUR SHIT COMPANIES AND AUTHORITIES, so YOU don’t get hacked in the first place!!
But we live in mortal fear of being ourselves hacked,, so we let them add layers and layers of security to the passwords and login names, then there are the SMS to be sent, and the emails that get sent to another email for the one that you are trying to fix, etc etc.
Down that interweb urinal we spiral once more, through that fancy “pissing mat” that stops splash back, labeled of course…
“It’s for your own good!”
Not really that great a message, when it’s bad design and maintenance, results in it blocking the urinal, and you are now “pishing” all over your own shoes!

Welcome to my world…